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Jim Schembri’s “New Release Movie Reviews: Prisoners” Is Too Effusive

In response to Jim Schembri’s 444‑word review of Prisoners on 3AW

By ,

Criticizing Jim Schembri’s “New Release Movie Review: Prisoners” is akin to disciplining a big-eyed puppy that piddled on the rug: it’s not fun but it’s got to get done. This review is that effusive, Chris Farley-like friend of yours that collars you and just has to tell you to see this movie because it’s THE BEST FRIGGIN’ THING EVER RECORDED IN THE HISTORY OF FILM!

In Schembri’s excitement he gleefully piles adjectives like a nyotaimori chef piling sushi on the body of a naked model making $800 a night to let Wall Street jerks drool over her: “there are plenty of high-end emotions coursing through this splendid, solid, engrossing crime drama, it’s the many smaller, quieter moments…”

New Release is clearly written by a sensualist—borderline sadomasochist—who glories in all physical sensations, be they painful or pleasurable. And if this modern-day Francois Rabelais’s metaphors are not apt, they are strangely violent, and rather silly--“The parents are naturally frantic as the stress of the search presses on them like a giant corkscrew“—they are at least entertaining.

Like a nail gun firing shards of pointy iron into your skull, New Release will leave…shards of pointy iron in your skull after you read it—if you’re into that kind of thing.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation