Henry Fitzherbert Unveils World’s Smallest Review in “The Counsellor”
By Eugenius Antonius, Senior Critic
At 70 words, Henry Fitzherbert’s “The Counsellor: review and trailer,” is, by a long shot, the shortest review written on the Cormac McCarthy neo noir thriller.
There’s a sub headline that clocks in at a relatively massive 40 words. This presents a small problem when reviewing the review. Does the sub headline (which says more than the entire review) count even though it’s not a part of the body of the article?
Who knows and who cares? Fitzherbert certainly doesn’t.
The film has been almost universally panned by critics and Fitzherbert’s tiny voice joins this cacophonic chorus, albeit with a feeble whimper.
The critic has a meager four sentences here in which to critique the film, so logic tells you he better not dilly dally.
Uh oh. The first sentence intros the cast. Okay, this is not going well.
Oh here it is—the second sentence critiques a cast which “bores the pants off us playing a bunch of speechifying scumbags.”
Now Fitzherbert is finally cooking with fire.
Oh dear. Spoke too soon. The third sentence wastefully outlines the plot which leaves only one sentence to discuss the direction, the script and the cinematography.
Damn. It’s a five word indictment of the wardrobes.