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Linda Cook Wins the Anti-Critique Contest With “Wordy Script”

In response to Linda Cook’s 449‑word review of The Counselor on Quad City Times (Davenport, IA) 

http://qctimes.com/entertainment/movies/wordy-script-weighs-down-counselor/article_c770b37a-fcc1-5b2b-be35-6b1e5b722ca3.html

By Rochus Pomponius, Adjunct Critic

Blah. Blah. Blah. Linda Cook is yet another critic who apparently believes one should only critique films they like. Her latest work, “Wordy script weighs down Counselor,” whines from the very first sentence, but offers little analysis of the film.

“What a letdown,” says Linda Cook at the beginning of Wordy script.  The reader will surely break out in laughter once the ironic review is over with, and look for a drink. The critic describes the film as “a rambling mess” in the second sentence, and the next line of actual critique comes at the end of the review. Seriously.

Wordy script is a tad bit wordy and struggles with the concept of film criticism. In fact, it’s the classic anti-critique. Cook summarizes the film, and of course only mentions Michael Fassbender by name without offering any original thoughts on the character or the performance. One will learn that Bruno Ganz and Ruben Blades are not only in the film, but are two of Cook’s favorite character actors. Audience = winning.

By the conclusion of Wordy script, Cook references “a guy who makes a threatening presence,” but naturally doesn’t offer anything more about the “guy.” Oh, and then comes the mighty final sentence aka the lone line of legitimate criticism.

Linda Cook should re-think what it means to be a film critic, and perhaps try a bit harder the next time she doesn’t like a film. The audience will likely appreciate more than two or three sentences of analysis.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation

Rochus Pomponius joins the Existimatum staff after a celebrated career as a court jester and the personal entertainer of Emperor Trajan. His studies in rhetoric inform his assessments.