Robin Clifford’s “The Counselor” Deserves to Be Buried in the Desert
By Eugenius Antonius, Senior Critic
This is the Plan 9 From Outer Space of film reviews.
Laura and Robin Clifford’s review “The Counselor” is a work of such unmitigated horror, you’ll be given a medal of honor if you can make it to the end.
There’s only one thing to do with a review like this—hang it outside your door with all the other monstrosities for Halloween and hope you don’t get arrested for forever scarring the souls of the children that come for candy.
But alas, Exisitimatum’s job is to review the reviewers, so here it is:
The writing here is so atrociously offensive to the senses that, had we used it for interrogation at Guantanamo, we’d have found Osama Bin Laden in a day.
The Counselor will mock you with its density and defy you to wade through its muddled muck. Each inane critique wraps itself in a foggy ambiguity and disorganization that builds into an awfulness rarely seen in this sphere.
The presentation is sadly on par with the prose. Websites like this were thought to have become extinct in the early 90s, but researchers and historians will be happy to find a living example of the bygone era.