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Jeff Beck’s “The Hobbit” Suffers From a Bad Case of Bloat

In response to Jeff Beck’s 1181‑word review of The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug on Examiner.com 

http://www.examiner.com/article/movie-review-the-hobbit-the-desolation-of-smaug

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If you can ignore what is literally the biggest web ad mankind has yet been witness to (it takes up the entire screen) and scroll down for several minutes, you’ll eventually arrive at Jeff Beck’s “Movie Review: ‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug,” his take on the 67th entry in Peter Jackson’s adaptation of J. R. R. Tolkien’s pamphlet for children.

At 1181 words, Beck’s piece is a doozy as well. Some reviews of this length would feel like an epic saga, but this one just feels flabby. There are entire paragraphs that are completely extraneous and the piece as a whole could benefit from a fair amount of trimming.

The prose is capable enough in terms of sentence syntax and word choice, but  the structure is all over the place and there’s not enough flow here to keep readers engaged for long.

Complicating matters is Beck’s plot recap, which, aside from being hopelessly bloated, offers detailed scene-by-scene descriptions rather than setting up the premise.

There are moments here that would qualify as legit critique, but they are so lost in a mire of swollen prose and muddled, disorganized thoughts that they end up looking smudged as a result.

This one’s in need of a massive edit. Until then, leave it be.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation