Willie Waffle’s Amateur “Gravity—Mind Blowing” Is Thin and Insubstantial
By Rochus Pomponius, Adjunct Critic
There is something really nice about having films succinctly graded on a zero to four waffle scale. It transcends all human barriers and boils down the essence of film criticism into a universally understood ideal. If only Willie Waffle were as innovative with his criticism as he is with his grading systems.
In Waffle’s “Gravity—Mind Blowing, Stomach Churning, Popcorn Dropping Adventure—Review” the waffle meter is utilized to its fullest extent (four out of four waffles!) but the content is devastatingly thin. Waffle comes off as a cheerful tour guide who’s on his first day at the job. He’s a little overwhelmed by it all, and is trying to make up for it by being overly friendly.
Waffle injects the work with a healthy dose of himself, casting himself in a starring role, right alongside Sandra Bullock. It’s a bold move that unfortunately doesn’t pay off. As Waffle loses his objectivity, by trying to be on both sides of the typewriter, he creates a work that is too personal to have much general appeal.
The whole affair is little more than a long plot description. While Waffle does describe to his readers a little about what to expect, he has very little to say about how the film works and what it does to do so.