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Tim Robey’s “Prisoners, Toronto Film Festival, Review” Fails Tragically

In response to Tim Robey’s 705‑word review of Prisoners on Daily Telegraph 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/toronto-film-festival/10292256/Prisoners-Toronto-Film-Festival-review.html

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Tim Robey’s “Prisoners, Toronto Film Festival, review” is a verbose disease that drives into a labyrinth of vituperative jargon. The side-effects of this review include headache, vomiting, knee jerks, pink eye, depression, and suicidal ideation. (Fine print: Existimatum may not be held responsible for readers who choose to read Robey’s review until the end, which may lead to incurable bridge-jumping.)

While it’s obvious that Robey doesn’t approve of Prisoners, by paragraph three the reader could care less. That’s because reading the review feels like a plummeting journey into the deepest, darkest annals of a thesaurus.

Robey’s doolally attempt at making the reader enjoy such Hades dives make the review completely unconvincing. It’s not at all surprising that this over-witted dimwit chose to throw in the word “doppelgänger” into his review.

The review gives an exhaustive account of negative aspects of the film, but Robey doesn’t hold-up as a film critic that anyone except another film critic would want to read.

This is just another review in a long-line of pretentious looney-tune theatrics that plays only to an elite crowd who like to make one another feel perspicacious. Robey confesses, but the reader doesn’t care. This review is worse than bad: it’s hazardous.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation