Movies  •  Critics  •  About
Existimatum  >  Movies  >  Ender’s Game  >  Reviews  >  MovieJuice!

Mark Ramsey’s “Ender’s Game” Is Gonzo Gone Wrong

In response to Mark Ramsey’s 663‑word review of Ender’s Game on MovieJuice!

By ,

Mark Ramsey’s “Ender’s Game” is a compendium of “Dad” jokes that have been thrown together and reformed into the shape of a film review.

To the disappointed readers in the comments section Existimatum knows your pain. The only thing rancid here is Ramsey’s painfully flat jokes that all have the impact of a car made of pillows and the relevancy of a Titanic pun. Yes this review is the stuff of Kafka’s nightmares minus the horrific bureaucracies and the fleeting sense of individualism and more Harrison Ford jokes.

Mechanically, the writing works, but for a review whose sole apparent reason to exist seems to be to make people laugh, it fails miserably. Will you punch your computer in the screen? It’s possible depending on whether bad jokes are a tipping point for you to punch inanimate objects. If so stay far away or your knuckles will be covered in LCD goo and unicorn dust or whatever computers are made out of.

The argument seems to be that Harrison Ford is old and Teen Mom is the worst. So on those two points the writer is correct but what they have to do with Ender’s Game is anyone’s guess. Afterward, either the writer had a mild stroke and believed he himself transferred into the film or there was a stream of conscious improv session of the film for Ramsey’s now flagging audience.

Ramsey’s “Ender’s Game” will result in many a cringe and forehead slap. So if you feel like reading it be sure to break out the ice and muscle relaxers: your face will need both after this one.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation