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Linda Cook Auditions for Leader of Anti-Critique Crew in “No Surprises”

In response to Linda Cook’s 442‑word review of Ender’s Game on Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)

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Linda Cook doesn’t say anything interesting in her latest piece, “No surprises in Ender’s Game,”  but she does manage to let the reader know that a novel was written long ago, and a movie was made based on the writing. There are literally zero surprises in the critic’s work, unless you factor in the quality of critique. Sadly, a poor and uninformative review is becoming all the rage in the review game.

Cook begins the epic snoozer by noting that youngsters will enjoy the film (surprise!), but that perhaps it is not meant so much for the older folk. One may frantically scour the webpage in search of a substantial argument or actual analysis, but Cook doesn’t appear to be too concerned with fulfilling the duties of her job.

The critic acknowledges that changes were made from the book, but states “I’m not going to address these changes” and then merely hints at the running time. Cook does give enough effort to summarize the plot of the film, which is definitely the highlight of the piece.

By the end of No Surprises, Cook informs the reader that the look of the film is “interesting,” and notes that various concepts are “compelling.” The critic offers absolutely zero character analysis, and closes out her “review” with brilliant thoughts (snicker) about a possible sequel.

No Surprises is seriously a head-scratcher.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation