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Ben Sachs Drops a Dollar and a Quarter of Criticism in “Smaug 3D”

In response to Ben Sachs’s 124‑word review of The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug on Chicago Reader

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The tiny, tiny amount of analysis in Ben Sachs’s latest piece, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 3D,” should not come as a surprise. The “reviews” from The Chicago Reader rarely approach two-hundred words, which is understandable given the stress of writing such lengthy works.

Smaug 3D has an ugly duckling appearance but is surprisingly not that bad. For one, the header image is absolutely stunning, and Sachers nationwide will be sure to salute the mighty Bilbo and the mustached character in the background. The critic seems to be saying “This is what I got, and you damn sure will enjoy it.”

An emotional story of Tolkien and Wagner alienation opens Smaug 3D. One may feel for the critic, but don’t let his sob story ruin your day. Sachs offers a beautiful display of takedown prose by comparing the “bloated, hollow spectacle” to a theme park attraction. The gloves are off, Smaug.

Smaug 3D could also be called The Desolation of Sachs, although this review definitely won’t take three hours to get through like the film. One may want to print out the mini-critique to keep it in their pockets in case of a strange internet shutdown.

Ben Sachs does not create legendary art with Smaug 3D, but the piece may find a cult following one day.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation