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Tony Hicks’s “Review: ‘Thor’ Borders on Being a Bore” Is Boring

In response to Tony Hicks’s 696‑word review of Thor: The Dark World on San Jose Mercury News

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Tony Hicks’ “Review: ‘Thor’ borders on being a bore” brings all the excitement of a dropped phone call to the world of reviews.  

While one doesn’t need bonafides to be a film reviewer for any genre, the invention of the phrase “semi-god”, just one letter away from making sense, when referring to the God of Thunder makes eyes cringe. And Hicks is just getting started.  

Yet again, the analysis is framed by a ridiculous argument: that this film is fun but “hardly seems necessary.” Superhero films aren’t made because they are needed. If they were all destroyed in a blaze of glory, Earth would not die. But Earth will die if Thor doesn’t save it in this movie. Ergo, a useless film review that lacks a heart, a point, or a respect for logic.

After some simplistic business analysis of how studios make decisions, after a paragraph about films that were good, after a paragraph that is essentially a gag, there begins the actual movie being reviewed. If readers have a low fatigue threshold, they should stay clear of Hicks’s work.

There’s the usual “what the heck is this movie about,” and “all these geeky terms are confusing” plot analysis, with the usual “bad guy is best actor and reason to watch” chip being played. And there follows the magic of generic summing-up terms like the movie isn’t “original” or “interesting” to end on. A sad end to a sad review.    

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