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Pete Hammond’s “Escape Plan Movie Review” Is So Bad It’s Good

In response to Pete Hammond’s video review of Escape Plan on Movieline

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A transcript of Pete Hammond’s “Escape Plan Movie Review” would be a dry, tedious, and short affair. Watching Hammond deliver it though, is another story. Hammond’s performances can really be all over the map, but they are rarely as memorable as this one.

The bespectacled, finger wagging star of Movie Line‘s ongoing series of movie reviews is at his most exuberant here. The camera keeps a tighter focus than ever before. Gone is the empty row of seats for Hammond to stretch out in, the whole thing is a long closeup with film footage spliced in.

Hammond’s attempts at describing the film are laughably inadequate. His take on the Stallone, Schwarzenegger team up is in left field, and his own words contradict each other when they happen to be making sense at all. It’s all very terrible. And it’s all terribly endearing.

 Hammond is so charmingly oblivious to the fact that nothing he says makes any sense (the amount of non-sequiturs, logical inconsistencies, and unsupported contrarion views in such a short video is staggering) that the audience can’t help but be rushed along with him.

There’s an urban legend that NASA engineers watch Armageddon as part of their training, tasked with noting all the inconsistencies and errors in the film. If there were as rigorous a program to become a film critic, Hammond’s “Escape Plan Movie Review” would probably be on the curriculum.    

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