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Existimatum  >  Movies  >  The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug  >  Reviews  >  Illinois Times

Charles Koplinski’s Gets Critique-Blocked by His Peeps in “The Hobbit”

In response to Charles Koplinski’s 588‑word review of The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug on Illinois Times

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Do you love answering surveys to get to your reviews? Do you sit around all day waiting for the telemarketers to call? Love clicking on those wonderfully informative articles detailing “the one secret to curing hemorrhoids that the medical establishment doesn’t want you to know about?”

If you answered yes to all these questions, Chuck Koplinski’s “Chuck Koplinski: Human element, dazzling visuals rescue ‘Smaug’” is a once in a lifetime miracle that the critics don’t want you to know about.

Once a booming region, East Central Illinois has fallen on hard times apparently, and The News Gazette has now resorted to making you answer a survey in order to read their articles.

Poor Koplinski. He’s written a relatively informative and critically satisfying piece of film journalism. The prose is breezy and fun and Koplinski manages to keep things moving at a brisk pace and this is certainly not his fault, but his paper’s idiocy is bound to affect the reader’s enjoyment here.

After all, there are 7,432 reviews of this film out there, so why would anyone go to the trouble of answering questions about their erectile dysfunction to find out whether it’s good or not?

They won’t and they shouldn’t.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation