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Henry Fitzherbert Comes Up Short With “Escape Plan”

In response to Henry Fitzherbert’s 108‑word review of Escape Plan on Daily Express

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To say that Henry Fitzherbert phones in his review for Escape Plan is an insult to all the great phone-ins throughout history (Milli Vanilli, Robert DeNiro’s last 15 films, the Seinfeld finale.)

No, Fitzherbert did not phone this in, he texted it in. If this were Twitter, his review would get rejected for being too short. If this were the 80s, two elderly ladies would be at Mr. Fitzherbert’s desk asking, “Where’s the beef”? If this were The Wizard of Oz, the munchkins would use this review to pave their roads.

Seriously, this review, clocking in at a paltry 108 words, may be a Guinness Book of World Records record for the shortest film review of all time and is certainly much too short to offer any real criticism. In fact, he spends 72 of those words rehashing the plot, leaving a measly 36 to give the readers his critique, which offers very little in the way of a cogent argument to explain the three out of five stars he gave it.  

A critic’s job is to use his or her knowledge of film and it’s history to provide a context in which to judge the quality of a given movie. What Fitzherbert has done here is an insult to the craft and an embarrassment to the Daily Express. Don’t waste your time.     

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation