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Linda Cook’s “Thor” Has No Thunder

In response to Linda Cook’s 411‑word review of Thor: The Dark World on Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)

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You know how your Grandpa used to say, “where there’s thunder, there’s lightning?” Well, there’s no need to get out of the pool on account of Linda Cook’s “Latest ‘Thor’ is no marvel.” Cook’s review of the Thunder God’s latest blockbuster offers nary a whimper in the critique department.

Cook does make an attempt, devoting a noble portion of her review to analyzing the film, but her criticisms are gratingly pedestrian; Chris Hemsworth “seems to inhabit the character of Thor more than he did previously” and that’s “enjoyable.” The film has “a kind of “Star Wars” feel that we’ve seen before,” but it “has its moments.”

These are fantastically useless observations and give readers absolutely nothing substantial in return for their attention.

Some reviews can make up for their deficiencies with dazzling writing. Not so much here. Most good critics have a book of breathtaking adjectives at their disposal, but Cook’s working with a fifth grade reader. Her prose is as bland as a white bread and sounds remarkably like a high school term paper. Dull, plodding sentences are followed up with duller, even more labored sentences and the cumulative result is a piece that bores spectacularly even while it fails to inform.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation