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Kelly Vance’s “The World’s End” Is Embarrassingly Useless

In response to Kelly Vance’s 104‑word review of The World's End on East Bay Express 

http://www.eastbayexpress.com/oakland/MovieTimes?oid=3679705

By ,

Kelly Vance’s Diminutive “The World’s End” is the epitome of a useless review. Not only does its word count barely register in the triple digits, it is full of the most worthless non-critiques ever encountered.  

Vance’s choices here are inexplicable and confounding. When you’ve only got 104 words, you try to make them count right? Instead, Vance spends about a third of the time discussing where the title of the film comes from. It will leave audiences the world over scratching their heads wondering how that tidbit could possibly be that essential. It’s like choosing to floss your teeth when you’ve only got one day left to live.

The absolute most heinous bit of treachery committed by Vance comes in her conclusion. After dedicating no words whatever to analyzing the movie, she ends with the absolute laziest trick in the book. If you like [basic, yet seemingly ironic, description of movie] then you’ll love this.

Vance essentially hands over her credentials to the reader, telling them to make the decision for themselves after having been given zero tools in order to so. The fact, that she spoils aspects of the film’s twist in her attempts at comic laziness only add to her condemnation.

There was never much hope for Vance’s “The World’s End,” but it is worse than anyone could have imagined.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation