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J. R. Jones’ “The Counselor” Is Well Overdue for a Growth Spurt

In response to J. R. Jones’s 109‑word review of The Counselor on Chicago Reader

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J. R. Jones’s “The Counselor” is the result of the least amount of effort a critic can put into a review without just copy and pasting an excerpt of an article from Wikipedia.

Someone either sneezed on a page and called it a review or the rest of this critique is missing somewhere in somebody’s computer. “Superficial” wouldn’t scratch the surface of this “work,” it would crack it and shatter it into a million tiny pieces. Summing up Cormac McCarthy’s work as purely cynical or Ridley Scott’s work as purely superficial is so banal it might be mistaken for satire or the most elementary level of criticism this side of Rex Reed.

The micro review mostly sums up the plot of the film, utilizing the last sentence as a truncated argument that sums up the career of two seasoned vets as an afterthought. Well, why not? Jones’s review is already firing on less than half of a cylinder, it might as well just sputter out and set everything ablaze while it’s at it.

The biggest thing this “review” has going for it are the obvious lack of spoilers. Believe it or read it (it will take you about 6 seconds) the review unsurprisingly goes over very few plot details, characters, settings, time, hell, it doesn’t really go over anything: it’s practically an extended tweet.

Far too many words have already been wasted on this uninformative, unimaginative, essentially useless plot outline. If you enjoy looking at blank spaces more than actual reviews then be sure to check out J. R Jones’s  “The Counselor.”   

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation