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Tim Evans’s “Escape Plan” Review Falls So Flat, You’ll Hear It Clatter

In response to Tim Evans’s 291‑word review of Escape Plan on Sky Movies

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Tim Evans’s “Escape Plan” review manages at every turn to read like a term paper scrawled by a hungover university student in the hallway just moments before class begins.

Artistically, the Escape Plan is a nightmarish imitation of the review form, shirking every bit of good writing advice imaginable for the opposite in a clear attempt to confound English teachers everywhere. The nine sentences (each inexplicably a paragraph all its own) are pockmarked with egregious ellipsis and en-dash overuse.

There are spelling errors. Conjunctions repeated twice in a row. Single-quotes are closed with double-quotes. Thank God it’s over quickly.

Alas, it’s not over quickly enough, as crucial plot details are spilled in a review a third the size of other works that have managed to avoid them. For analysis, Escape Plan resorts mainly to poking fun at its gallery of characters.

Jokes are attempted in a bid to bring buoyancy to the work, but they fall so flat that one might mistake the clunk in the back of her mind for an actual audible cue. It’s cringingly, cloyingly flippant with absolutely no right to be whatever.

Evans’s Escape Plan review is not right. Evans’s Escape Plan review is not even wrong. Audiences should race as quickly as possible in the opposite direction.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation