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Joe Neumaier’s “‘Ender’s Game,’ Movie: “Is a Diatribe With. 5 Explanation

In response to Joe Neumaier’s 441‑word review of Ender’s Game on New York Daily News

By ,

Joe Neumaier’s “‘Ender’s Game,’ movie review: Zero Stars” goes straight into a very dark room of hateful banter, where biting words are given closet space for review bones. Neumaier never communicates a realistic perspective, as though he was in such a bad mood when he wrote the review the he simply needed a target for his aggression.

Low on description, heavy on insipid adjectives without context, terribly low on details, and cut-rate on meaningful insight, it’s as though Neumaier borrowed content and style from the character’s he so criticizes. He may be a master of irony, but his satirical attempts are like pickles without any vinegar. Zero Stars is so ridiculously lacking in supporting examples of opinion that by the second paragraph, the reader can’t help but wonder if he’s personally sore about the whole thing—life, that is.

Like a piece of wood in a rushing river, every pore of the reader gets soaked by Neumaier’s bad attitude, which could have been an awesome thing, if it weren’t a river comprised of muddy reasoning. While he says that Ender’s Game inspires many complaints, he complains in such a dank fashion that is utterly devoid of inspiration.

Zero Stars may have a special place in hateful movie review pop-culture. The review itself, however, is as intriguing as the onset of pink-eye.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation