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Dennis Schwartz’s “Cleverly Helmed” Is a Crime Against Humanity

In response to Dennis Schwartz’s 525‑word review of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire on Ozus' World Movie Reviews

By ,

It’s not much of a leap to say that Dennis Schwartz is the worst film critic working today (and possibly the worst in the history of mankind).

Schwartz’s reviews are crimes against humanity and “Cleverly helmed by popular music video director Francis Lawrence,” once again finds this critic at the bottom of his game.

There’s no beginning to the level of talent on display here as Schwartz obliterates the rules of the English language with run on sentences so epic, they can be seen from space. All you’ll be able to do is look on in wonder, mouth agape and face contorted in horror.

Each sentence is more garbled and convoluted than the last. The effect is like a literary ooze which collects into a pool of primordial slop that, with a few million years and some dumb luck, maybe, just maybe, could emerge as something coherent.

The awfulness of the writing is only matched by the visuals, which assault the senses with such loathing, your eyes will give up and you’ll soon be tasting and hearing this monstrosity as you go about your day. Seriously, this thing makes the Elephant Man look like Brad Pitt.  

For the love of humanity, stay away.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation