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Lou Lumenick Drafts Blueprint for Colleagues to Finish in “Hobbit Boring”

In response to Lou Lumenick’s 463‑word review of The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug on New York Post

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There is an endearing quality to Lou Lumenick’s prose in the late submission for SnoozeFest 2013, “What was he Tolkien? Peter Jackson makes Hobbit boring,” but unfortunately the piece seems like Lumenick is throwing up his hands in frustration due to his colleagues’ praise rather than producing a legit critique.

Hobbit Boring will likely cause a few snickers in the close-knit world of film critics, and Lumenick might even get a free dinner out of the deal, however the critique is hardly fit for the curious reader. The film is boring? And things happen? Tell us more Lou-ster!

Whereas many critics find a way to deliver pure critique throughout five-hundred word pieces, Lumenick does more describing than analyzing in Hobbit Boring. This happens. That happens. Peter Jackson directed. Martin Freeman “is back.” Obligatory Orlando Bloom joke (because he doesn’t act much).

One can find a tiny amount of pleasure in Hobbit Boring, if one hasn’t read any reviews all year. “Oh my, this is fantastic!” says the out-of-touch reader. Lumenick fails to drop any deep insight on his fans and he fails hard. But hey, take this gem with you: “There was one sequence that I enjoyed, basically a series of sight gags employing barrels and dwarves.”

Hobbit Boring is currently the favorite for SnoozeFest ‘13 according to Vegas bookies. Go Lou!   

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation