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Rene Rodriguez’s “PG-13” Will Lead to Connoisseur Facebook Updates

In response to Rene Rodriguez’s 951‑word review of The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug on Miami Herald

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Rene Rodriguez crafts an exquisite takedown of Hobbit distractions in “The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (PG-13).” It’s not difficult to feel the disappointment of the critic as he pleads “Whyyy” to his audience and contemplates the unnecessary filler material.

PG-13 is not a late submission to WhineFest ‘13. No, it’s a well-crafted and reasonable horror story of cinematic potential unrealized. Don’t be offended, Hobbit nerds—let the truth set you free and allow Double R to shine light on a narrative gone astray.

Visually, the header image of Bilbo does wonders by reflecting all the frustration that can be felt through the written word of Rodriguez. The connoisseur will likely tip back in their chair and smirk while enjoying their favorite beverage. Facebook status: “Enjoying December Rodriguez Smaug.”

Rodriguez addresses the positive aspects of the film at the onset of PG-13 and proves that he is not a criticism grinch suffering from tunnel vision. Think of the piece as Mr. Rogers setting the reader down and delivering a gentle verbal smack down. “Hi reader” says Rodriguez as he begins the intellectual assault on SmaugTown.

The majority of PG-13 consists of Rodriguez breaking down all the distractions, whether it be the visuals, new characters or Smaug’s horrible diaharrea of the mouth. The critic succeeds with his argument by pointing out the particulars of what makes the film feel like a Peter Jackson video game rather than a well-constructed film.

Rene Rodriguez’s PG-13 is high art that should be enjoyed with a $30 plus meal.    

Quality of Writing Quality of Argument Spoiler Avoidance Presentation